Confusing~Sad~Dark!

Many people ask me 4get him(HUI)~Even is my best friends too and others.I told them that I can't do that what had they ask me 2 4get.They still told me..would he come back to you again even is ask him come back to the hometown and accompany me??As they ask the question about that,It's making me more confused n feel more sad even is pain in my heart.I know they do care and worry about me.But,I still can't do that~because I still loving him.Once I try 2 4gt him,it's make me sick in my heart and my mind even is my whole body also will get into sick too.I really HATE myself and my whole Life.I always wishing that I quickly DIE and reborn again.Start new life again!Now my life really suck with those unused pain..it's always make me pain and hurt as deep as a knife stab my heart chin.When I saw another partners were so lovely,their movement remind me of our sweet memories and from started there..my heart start hurt and hurt till I can't breath.Feel wanna Die chin~!When along the way that ever had our memories,I started crying...from there 2 here.At d 1st,Our memories make me feel happiness..but after d end,our sweet memories make me feel pain and pain enough!I damn really don't know how 2 4get all those unused pain!Everybody don't know about my real secret yet!4 them,I was a bad girl..naked~!But,in truth I'm not kinda!I hard to fall in love with other guy even is believed!My believe in guy was over d end!I can't trust those all guys anymore even they're good guy.Cz i started HATE GUY!!!!!Not only GUY,even is a GIRLs that don't like me or wanna betray me!!!I HATE those people!!!From started rite now,I wanna b bad as much as I can!!!The BAD that I mean so..not a NAKED!!But a BAD that I can KILL people that betray me!!!!!!!!!!!Wanna let them know How pain in my life when They betray me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Wanna let them FEEL the Feeling!!!!I HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!In my LIFE containing of HATE!!!!!!!DARKNESS!!!!!DARK in my LIFE!!!!DARK KILLER!!!